Please Stop!!

When I was a child, one of the things I enjoyed doing was hitting other children with a stick.   Many of my classmates also enjoyed doing this.  We would walk through the wood inward dorsum of our school, trying to detect the biggest stick nosotros could feasibly wield every bit a weapon.  When nosotros constitute the correct stick, nosotros would lure an unsuspecting kid out of the teacher’s sight during break as well as assail them.  We called this game Stick War as well as it was the best game ever every bit long every bit you lot weren’t the i beingness beaten mercilessly.


We were able to secretly play Stick War for almost 3 whole days earlier i of our asshole classmates ruined it past times calling for aid when nosotros wouldn’t halt hitting him.  Our instructor was furious.  She sat us downwards as well as told us that from as well as therefore on, if whatever i of us felt like we were beingness treated unfairly, nosotros could yell “PLEASE STOP!” as well as the offending political party must halt or facial expression upwards dire consequences.



Life after Please Stop was really dissimilar for us.  We could no longer overpower our weaker classmates amongst brutality.  


No affair what was happening to you, you lot could ever count on Please Stop to forestall it from continuing.  It was a magic bullet of pure power. We respected it.  We feared it.  

It didn’t accept us long to larn how to abuse it. 


We began using Please Stop for everything.  We used it to settle ownership disputes as well as to curvature the rules of freeze tag.  If nosotros didn’t desire to larn most numbers, nosotros would call “PLEASE STOP!” at our teacher.  It became a unmarried give-and-take – “PLEESTOP” – uttered triumphantly inward a loud burst.

Please Stop quickly made its way into our home lives, too.  I clearly recollect sitting at the dinner table, yelling “PLEASE STOP!” at my mom because she was trying to brand me complete my meatloaf.   My sis as well as I became Please Stop ninjas, constantly finding creative novel ways to wield the ultimate source of ability to a greater extent than effectively.   

But i fateful day, nosotros flew every bit good simply about the Sun as well as ruined Please Stop forever.  I recollect that it was summer.  I had simply come upwards within from catching grasshoppers as well as I was sorting them on my sister’s bed because I didn’t desire to acquire grasshopper guts on mine.  I tried to variety them based on how many legs they withal had – the intact grasshoppers would survive dried out for display purposes as well as the  mangled ones would survive used inward dissection experiments which were non done for scientific reasons, but to a greater extent than every bit an excuse to chop upwards grasshoppers amongst my mom’s butcher knife.  

My sis was horrified to detect me trespassing on her side of the bedroom. 

My sister:  “Don’t sit down on my bed!”

Me:  “It’s a gratis country!  I tin sit down on your bed if I want!”

My sister:  “PLEASE STOP!”

Me:  “PLEASE STOP SAYING PLEASE STOP!”

My sister: “PLEASE STOP TELLING ME TO PLEASE STOP SAYING PLEASE STOP!” 

Me:  “PLEASE STOP TELLING ME TO PLEASE STOP TELLING YOU TO PLEASE STOP SAYING PLEASE STOP!” 

We had discovered a glitch inward the organisation — Please Stop was flawed.  It could survive used against itself infinitely, thereby becoming useless.  We were inward a goddamn Mexican standoff.  

It felt similar nosotros had forcibly ripped apart the universe as well as were straight off staring at a gaping dark hole where our powerful weapon used to exist.  What had nosotros done?  

Over the course of report of the summer, the other children inward my shape also began to discovery the flaws of Please Stop.  Parents could non survive controlled past times it.  It was difficult to yell it effectively when your oral fissure was crammed total of your ain socks.  It was fifty-fifty harder to yell when your caput was underwater. 

By the fourth dimension nosotros returned to schoolhouse inward the fall, nosotros had resigned ourselves to settling things the old-fashioned way, amongst sticks as well as rocks.   But nosotros were bitter as well as jaded, having placed our faith inward something therefore evidently corruptible, therefore fifty-fifty Stick War lost its one-time appeal.   



There was a brief ray of hope when individual invented “Please Stop to Infinity” to solve the escalation problem, but before long after individual else invented “Please Stop to Infinity to Infinity” as well as nosotros were correct dorsum where nosotros started.  

As nosotros grew up, nosotros learned to solve our problems through “talking” as well as “compromise,” but I mean value secretly nosotros all withal yearned for the days where nosotros solely had to yell “PLEASE STOP” as well as anything nosotros wanted was ours.