Dinosaur

Boyfriend as well as I were sitting innocently inwards our living room, watching a movie.  Then I heard a audio similar grinding metallic coming from exterior as well as I was similar “Do you lot need heed that?”

Boyfriend: “Hear what?”

Me: “It sounds similar robots having s*x.”

Boyfriend: “I’m non familiar alongside that sound.”

Me: “Listen! It sounds similar individual swinging on a rusty swing, exclusively they’re swinging really, genuinely furiously. Like I don’t know if it would move possible to swing that furiously. It’s agency to a greater extent than probable that it’s robots having sexual activity inwards our yard.”

Boyfriend: “You should larn check.”

Me: “I don’t desire to function out there! I receive got no sentiment what could move making a audio similar that. It’s belike dangerous.”

Boyfriend: “It’s belike merely Rustle.” (Rustle is our neighbor’s labrador retriever.)

Me: “I’m pretty certain dogs aren’t capable of making that sound.”

Boyfriend: “No, that’s definitely Rustle. I tin terminate need heed him barking.”

Me: “NO! There’s some other sound. H5N1 different sound. HOW CAN YOU NOT HEAR THAT???”

Boyfriend: “Because I’m non crazy?”

My curiosity as well as the urge to essay that I wasn’t genuinely insane in conclusion outweighed my fearfulness of what mightiness move on the other side of the door. I lay on my hero-face as well as went outside.

I don’t know if you’ve e’er seen a Canis familiaris battling a goose/monster, but that is what I saw when I opened the door. It was similar The Gladiator out there, exclusively alongside agency to a greater extent than violence as well as robot-sex audio effects. At first, I was similar “No Rustle! BAD DOG!” because I didn’t desire him to kill the goose. I chased him to the other side of the yard as well as past times the fourth dimension I turned around, the goose was within my house. I heard Boyfriend yell “OH SHIT!!!”

I ran within to notice the goose chasing Boyfriend approximately our living room. Boyfriend was throwing things at it as well as yelling “GET information technology AWAY!! GET information technology AWAY!!! OH MY GOD!! WHAT’S information technology DOING??!!” Everything was chaos. I started throwing things likewise as well as yelling “WHAT DO I DO?? WHAT DO I DO?!!”

Boyfriend: “IT’S TRYING TO BITE ME!! WHY IS THERE H5N1 GOOSE IN OUR HOUSE, ALLIE??? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!”

Me: “IDON’TKNOWIDON’TKNOWIDON’TKNOW!! GET IT! STAB IT!!!”

Boyfriend:STAB IT?? HOW??”

At this point, the goose turned it’s reptilian gaze upon me. Everything was withal for a moment.

Boyfriend: “What’s it doing?”

Me: “Oh God… I don’t know… It’s watching me…”

The adjacent x minutes were almost precisely similar the kitchen scene inwards Jurassic Park – Boyfriend as well as I running approximately chaotically, trying to enshroud – the goose pursuing us similar a bloodthirsty velociraptor.

If you lot receive got never been attacked past times a goose, you lot may move wondering what is thence scary virtually geese. Allow me to illustrate alongside a floor from my childhood:



If you f**k with geese, they volition seize alongside teeth you lot inwards the face.

Luckily, Boyfriend as well as I receive got blankets hung over all of our doorways to conserve oestrus as well as nosotros were eventually able to trap the goose inwards our kitchen behind 1 of the blankets.  At this point, I got out the video photographic idiot box camera because there was a feral goose-raptor inwards my kitchen, you lot guys.
After it made several charges at me, I decided that antagonizing the goose was belike non wise, thence I retreated to the living room. The backlighting inwards the kitchen shape a precipitous silhouette of the animate beingness on the bed canvas hung over the door. I could come across it moving closer.

The canvas bulged outward.

It was escaping.

We fled upward the stairs to the security of our room. We could need heed it pecking the set down exterior our door.

We were trapped.

From our room, nosotros called Fish as well as Game as well as they were similar “Is it a wild goose?” And nosotros were similar “It’s whatsoever sort of goose acts similar a velociraptor…” as well as they were all “We don’t know how to assist you. Maybe you lot tin terminate trap it nether a blanket as well as receive got it outside?” And nosotros were similar “Yeah, whatever.”

After nosotros got off the phone, Boyfriend said “So what are nosotros genuinely going to produce alongside it?”

Me: “I don’t know. Maybe nosotros tin terminate trap it inwards the basement?”

Boyfriend: “That’s a terrible idea. Do you lot genuinely desire that affair living inwards our basement?”

Me: “No. I don’t know why I said that.”

We decided that trapping it nether a blanket was belike our exclusively option. Unless nosotros wanted to alive inwards our room forever.  
 
After a dramatic struggle, nosotros were able to trap the goose, lay it inwards the dorsum of Boyfriend’s car, drive it to a nearby duck pond as well as unloose it into its natural habitat, fifty-fifty though I’m pretty certain I’m incorrect virtually that as well as its natural habitat is genuinely the Jurassic menses as well as it’s belike going to murder those poor ducks and then lurk under the surface of the murky pond, just waiting for hapless children to get too close to the border of the water.