Boyfriend Doesn’t Convey Ebola. Probably.

I took Boyfriend to the Emergency Room terminal nighttime because he was vomiting upwards vast quantities of what I idea was blood but genuinely it was just Craisins. You guys, if you lot experience similar you lot may larn violently sick inwards the close future, stay away from ruby-red food. Failure to exercise then may exercise an atmosphere of unnecessary panic in addition to chaos.

Anyway, the doc wanted to brand certain that Boyfriend didn’t convey SARS or tummy AIDS or something, then he had to poke him a lot. While he was doing this to Boyfriend, he pointed to a niggling reference nautical chart on the wall in addition to asked Boyfriend to charge per unit of measurement his pain::

You’ve in all probability seen some version of that nautical chart before.  You may also convey noticed how inadequate it is at helping you.  Based on the faces, this is my interpretation of the chart:

0:  Haha!  I’m non wearing whatever pants!

2:  Awesome!  Someone only offered me a costless hot dog!

4:  Huh.  I never knew that about giraffes.

6:  I’m sorry close your cat, but tin nosotros utter close something else now?  I’m bored.

8:  The H2O ice cream I bought barely has whatever cookie dough chunks inwards it.  This is non what I expected in addition to I am disappointed.

10:You wound my feelings in addition to at 1 time I’m crying!

 None of that is medically useful in addition to it doesn’t fifty-fifty convey all the numbers, so I made a improve 1 with all the numbers:

0:  Hi.  I am non experiencing whatever hurting at all.  I don’t know why I’m fifty-fifty here.

1:  I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing hurting or itching or mayhap I only convey a bad sense of savor inwards my mouth.

2:  I in all probability only demand a Band Aid.

3:  This is distressing.  I don’t desire this to last happening to me at all.

4:  My pain is not fucking around.

5:  Why is this happening to me??

6:  Ow.  Okay, my pain is super legit now.


7:  I come across Jesus coming for me in addition to I’m scared.   

8:  I am experiencing a disturbing sum of pain.  I mightiness genuinely last dying.  Please help.

9:  I am almost definitely dying.

10:  I am actively beingness mauled past times a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my facial expression upwards at whatever moment.

Too Serious For Numbers:  You in all probability convey ebola.  It appears that you lot may also last suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.