Am Adult

When I woke upward this morning, my identify smelled similar snuff it together with sadness.  I walked into the kitchen together with saw what appeared to last a slice of petrified woods sitting inwards a bowl on the counter.  I was similar “What is this thing?”

Boyfriend:  “What thing?”

Me:  “The affair inwards the bowl that sort of looks similar petrified woods covered inwards human skin.”

Boyfriend:  “Oh, I accidentally left my oatmeal inwards the microwave for 20 minutes.”

Me: “And the microwave was going the whole time?”

Boyfriend:  “Yeah.  I meant to laid it for 3 minutes together with xxx seconds, but I must convey hitting an extra zero.  I took it out earlier it caught on fire, though.”

Me:  “You waited xx minutes without thinking ‘this is agency longer than 3 minutes’”?

Boyfriend:  “I but reckon that I must convey missed the beep together with thus I was similar “meh, I’ll larn it later.’”

Me:  “I gauge that’s understandable.  Did you lot larn breakfast?”

Boyfriend:  “Yeah, I had a tortilla.”

Sometimes I experience similar Boyfriend together with I are retarded cavemen.  All of our friends are going nearly their lives every bit normal, well-adjusted adults who laid their meals together with alive inwards clean, well-decorated houses, spell Boyfriend together with I are sitting on the flooring eating beans out of a tin can amongst spoons nosotros made out of tinfoil because nosotros can’t uncovering whatever of our existent spoons.

We bought a lavatory brush dorsum inwards September amongst the intention of using it to construct clean our toilets, but it is yet sitting inwards a corner, encased inwards shrink-wrap.

We ever endeavour to commencement beingness normal together with responsible.  Every calendar week nosotros convey a niggling pow-wow together with create upward one’s heed that nosotros are actually going to create it this time.  We are actually going to halt stuffing our candy bar wrappers inwards the couch cushions together with nosotros are actually going to sweep the flooring together with scrub the toilets together with construct clean things upward when nosotros tumble them.  

 I proceed hoping that 1 twenty-four hours nosotros volition magically morph into responsible adults similar everyone else, but I’m pretty certain that we’re going to either larn eaten past times wolves, larn homeless or destination upward beingness featured on A&E’s Hoarders.  One of those.  Possibly all of them.  We volition likely last the exclusively homeless people ever to last shunned past times the other hobos for our lack of organizational skills. 

P.S. I desire to sincerely give thank you lot all of the people who convey been tweeting together with emailing together with stumbling together with reblogging together with Facebooking together with Digging my posts.  If things proceed going similar this, I mightiness last able to pass the residuum of my adult life drawing together with writing materials on the mesh together with thus I never convey to larn a existent adult!  You convey no reckon how happy this would brand me.  I would last thus happy that my torso would likely explode but it would last okay because there’d last rainbows within of me! 

Anyway, I but wanted to tell give thank you lot you.  You are wonderful, crazy people.