Alot is Better Than You at Everything

As a grammatically conscientious soul who frequents cyberspace forums together with YouTube, I receive got institute it necessary to prepare a few coping mechanisms.  When someone types out “u” instead of “you,” instead of getting mad, I imagine them having exclusively 1 finger on each paw together with and hence their actions seem reasonable.  If I exclusively had 1 finger on each hand, I’d instruct out out unnecessary letters too!

If I come upward across a soul who seems to completely ignore the being of apostrophes together with uppercase letters together with types things similar “im an eagle together with im typing amongst my talons, hence dont brand fun of me cuz this is hard,” I similar to imagine that they truly are an eagle typing amongst their talons.  It would endure a hassle if yous had to hop inward the air together with purpose your feet to karate-chop 2 keys simultaneously every fourth dimension yous wanted to purpose the shift fundamental to brand a uppercase letter.   Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, hence I tin ship away empathize why they’d desire to instruct out out apostrophes.  Eagles are all nigh efficiency.  

But at that topographic point is 1 grammatical fault that I specially relish encountering.  It has conk almost fun for me to come upward across people who receive got the phrase “a lot” together with condense it downwards into 1 word, because when someone says “alot,” this is what I imagine:

The Alot is an imaginary beast that I made upward to assistance me bargain amongst my compulsive ask to right other people’s grammar.  It variety of looks similar a cross betwixt a bear, a yak together with a pug, together with it has provided hours of amusement for me inward a province of affairs where I’d unremarkably endure left feeling angry together with disillusioned amongst the world.  

For example, when I read the judgement “I aid nigh this alot,” this is what I imagine: 

Similarly, when someone says “alot of _______”, I flick an Alot made out of whatsoever they are talking about.  

If someone says something similar “I experience lonely alot” or “I’m angry alot,” I’m going to imagine them standing at that topographic point amongst an emo haircut, sharing their feelings amongst an Alot.  

The Alot is incredibly versatile. 

So the adjacent fourth dimension yous are reading along together with yous reckon some guy ranting nigh how he is “alot ameliorate at swimming than Michael Phelps,” instead of getting angry, yous tin ship away endure similar “You’re right!  Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities.”